Found on the internets...

We think this silly song is really mocking us, and while Rebel Youth is not pro-religion (although we think it is difficult to be against something that does not exist) we are really not anti-feminist. Nevertheless... Sing to the tune of the Major-General’s Song from Gilbert and Sullivan’s “Pirates of Penzance”.

I am the very model of a modern Marxist-Leninist.
I’m anti-war, and anti-God and very anti-feminist;
My thinking’s dialectical, my wisdom’s undebateable,
When I negate negations they’re undoubtedly negatable.
And yet I’m no ascetic – I’m always full of bonhomie
When lecturing to classes on the primitive economy;
And comrades all agree that they have never heard a smarter cuss
Explain the basic reasons for the slave revolt of Spartacus

(Chorus)
Explain the basic reasons,etc.

I’m fierce and unrelenting when I’m extirpating heresies
Yet patient and forgiving to the comrade who his error sees;
In short, as a propagandist, agitator and polemicist
I am the very model of a modern Marxist-Leninist.

(Chorus)
In short, as a propagandist, agitator and polemicist etc.
I am the very model of a modern Marxist-Leninist.

My love of Party history comes very close to mania.
I teem with information on the Bund in Lithuania.
My speech on the Decembrists is replete with fun and pleasantry.
I know the different stages in collectivising peasantry.
With Russian Social-Democrats I’m always glad to clench a fist
(While carefully distinguishing the Bolshevist and Menshevist);
But when I’m confronted with a regular Bukharinite
I get a rise in temperature (both centigrade and fahrenheit).

(Chorus)
He gets a rise in temperature, etc.

I know what Lenin said about the concept of the deity,
And why it’s very dangerous to worship spontaneity.
In short, as a propagandist, agitator and polemicist
I am the very model of a modern Marxist-Leninist.

(Chorus)
In short, as a propagandist, agitator and polemicist
I am the very model of a modern Marxist-Leninist.

In fact when I begin to try to fight against bureaucracy
To criticise myself a bit, and practice more democracy,
And bringing Marx’s teachings up to date I’m much more wary at,
And when I’ve done with phrases like “impoverished proletariat”;
When I’ve learned that workers think that nothing can be sillier,
Than “monolithic unity” and biased Russophilia -
Then people will exclaim: “Hurrah! He’s not a stupid sap at all!
A better Marxist-Leninist. has never studied Capital!”

(Chorus)
A better Marxist-Leninist. has never studied Capital!” etc

My policies and theories have an air of unreality
Because I am a victim of the cult of personality
But still, as propagandist, agitator and polemicist
I am the very model of a modern Marxist-Leninist.

(Chorus)
But still, as propagandist, agitator and polemicist
I am the very model of a modern Marxist-Leninist.